Also, someone should have told me that I have chubby knees.
March 13, 2010
Look what we finally got around to purchasing:
Yes indeedy, a floor mirror. This purchase was actually a pretty big deal for us, considering that Adam and I have been cohabitating for almost 11 years and have never owned a full-length mirror. Well, technically, that’s not quite true. The first place we rented came with a full-length mirror on the back of a closet door, but there was no light in the closet and the mirror had a ripple distortion thing going on. So if you wanted to check your outfit, you had to bring a flashlight and then convince yourself that you didn’t really have three breasts. We didn’t use it that much, except during parties, when we were like, “FRIENDS! STEP INTO THIS HERE CLOSET AND COUNT HOW MANY BREASTS YOU HAVE!” It was similar to a chummy game of Clue or Monopoly, except more psychologically scarring.
Barring that particular mirror, we never had another full-length. If I needed to check my pants or shoes before leaving the house, I would stand tiptoe in front of the bureau mirror. But mostly I just hoped for the best and then squinted really hard at my reflection in elevator doors or store windows. Grocery-store windows always worked fairly well, though I’d often have to contort my body to keep the Sale! posters from getting in the way. And even then it seemed like “THIS WEEK ONLY! RIB EYE ROAST $3.99 PER POUND!” always prevented a really accurate glimpse of my waist.
Which, if I’m being frank, was the point. I don’t like looking at my reflection all that much. And if I do get too good a look, then I immediately find something lacking, whether it’s the width of my thighs or the shape of my lips or myriad other issues. I’ve always been this way with photos of myself, too. It was only recently that I realized this little phobia now involves someone other than just me.
“Mommy, why don’t you let Daddy take more pictures of you?” Aura asked during a family outing a few weeks ago, as I was ducking away from Adam and the camera.
“Oh, well, I don’t always like the way I look when I see the pictures,” I replied.
Then it struck me. A lot more comments like that might lead to a lot less of this:
I don’t know if being dissatisfied with your own appearance is the result of too many supermodels in magazines, or a misunderstanding of modesty, or simply a hallmark of being a woman. But in this household, it has to stop, or at least start to stop. I may not be able to guarantee that Aura will always be as carefree and content with her appearance as she is now at three years old, but I damn well have to try.
Step 1:
Thank God for baby steps.
March 13, 2010 at 5:51 pm
I truly love this and you make such a good point. Good self esteem is something that I wish had been instilled in me when I was little. I am never totally happy with what I see when I look in the mirror either, but damn if I won’t make the effort when I have a little to look up to me! Aura is so adorable (and you are so pretty!).
On another note, I love that mirror! Currently the only full length we have does a bit of the funhouse thing that you described, but it beats standing on the toilet trying to get a look at how my shoes look in the bathroom mirror.
March 13, 2010 at 8:05 pm
Okay, 3 things:
a) LOVE that mirror – gorgeous!
b) SO happy to finally see what you look like (albeit just a sliver)! I have been wondering. You look cute as a button.
c) another “con” for the ‘only having boys’ list is that you don’t have to worry about their self image and body issues. As long as their bodies fart – they’re good.
March 13, 2010 at 8:56 pm
I love this post! Beautiful photos of both of you, too.
We lived sans full-length mirror for years. I used to look at my top half in the bathroom mirror and figure that was good enough for most days. For important occasions I would stand on the bathroom counter, straddle the sink, and back up just enough to a.) see if my shoes looked okay with my outfit and b.) risk seriously injuring myself. I definitely prefer the full-length mirror approach!!
March 13, 2010 at 9:31 pm
I’m no fan of being photographed either. Hooray for you for taking baby steps. Nice mirror!
March 14, 2010 at 1:27 am
Well, look at you! You look lovely. I only count two breasts, though. Sorry if I’m missing a couple.
I used to be like that about pictures until my uncle died young and it hit us how few pictures we had of him. My family treasures even the terrible pictures of him, and that made me realize sometimes pictures of our selves aren’t always for us.
March 14, 2010 at 9:44 am
OMG, Aura is adorable. You guys both look like you’re doing great. Take some photos with funny props and it’ll make you a lot less focused on you and more focused on fun. Helps around here.
March 14, 2010 at 9:54 am
CONGRATULATIONS! A baby step is a step nonetheless…but, seriously, don’t I want my daughter to grow up feeling so carefree as she feels now!!! How I relate to that. Wish we could make (positive) changes for their generation.
March 14, 2010 at 1:32 pm
oh my gosh! Look at you! You look adorable! Though I kinda already figured you were based on Aura’s cutes.
March 14, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Love the mirror-I’ve been wanting a pretty, old-fashioned full-length for the corner of my bedroom. More importantly, love the point you make about what we’re teaching our daughters. I hope my girls always want to kiss their faces in the mirror…but I have to set the example first.
March 14, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Ahhh yeah!!! Go you!!! Love your body and yourself!! Love that you created the miracle that is your daughter, and encourage her!!
Here’s a great website to consult whenever you don’t like your thighs or something, I use it daily to remind myself how much I love myself :]
http://www.galadarling.com
March 14, 2010 at 9:36 pm
I think it’s because I don’t look like I expect to look. I expect to look like I did when I was 25… two kids and, er, several pounds ago. So I’m always SURPRISED by what I actually see in the pictures. For some reason, mirrors seem more kind.
March 15, 2010 at 2:43 pm
You are pretty! With pretty hair and pretty eyebrows! I would like eyebrows like that.
And yes–you make a very, very good point. One that more mothers should think of, especially if they have little girl-babies looking up to them.
March 15, 2010 at 7:51 pm
I think you look great in your pic, there. I think about all of that, a lot, lately, too. When I don’t catch myself I tend to complain about my appearance. Definitely don’t want to pass that on to Peanut. It’s so hard when it’s ingrained into you, though. You are right. Babysteps!!
March 16, 2010 at 8:51 am
HILARIOUS post as usual!! And with so much truth in it. (About women and our wierd self-perception issues, that is. Not about you having chubby knees or anything like that.) I am afraid of my appearance too and Nino my 5 year old is forever asking me why I run and hide from the camera. However, I must say that from the picture of yourself in this blog, you are adorable and look a lot like a supermodel yourself!! XOXOXXO
March 16, 2010 at 2:57 pm
A baby step is still a step. And you are both beautiful (even though you are hidden partially by your cam!).
March 16, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Kate, I came by to thank you for your comment. I’m going to show it to hubs…so often he feels frustrated with his inability to help everyone. Truly truly thanks!
March 16, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Developing a healthy self-image….I never did. But like you, I’ve done all I can to help my daughter have a better one, and by gosh, she is totally comfortable in her skin! Whoopee!
May 31, 2010 at 12:25 pm
You are beautiful – inside and out! Now set the timer on your camera and take some photos of yourself! (This is coming from the girl who has herself as the photo on her wallpaper on her computer!)